I'm in my hometown, Ishpeming, Michigan for the holidays. I left here at 18 and it's always surprising to me when I come home what a unique... er... interesting place this is. All the little idiosyncrasies of my family and this blue collar "Yooper" community are amplified now that I only get back here once or twice a year.
I love my family. I really do. So please understand that this entry is not meant to poke fun at anyone.
Here is how our Christmas day went. For this to make sense, you need to understand that my sister and I asked my mom when our main meal for the day would be served. We remarked how strange it is that often on holidays we eat a big meal at strange times (3 pm, for example). She assured us we'd eat lunch at 1:00 pm. Enjoy. (Thanks to my my cousin Beth and my sister Brenna for their assistance with recording all this):
7:00 a.m.--Woke up; checked Twitter; Tried to go back to sleep
8:00 a.m.--Out of bed. Turned on coffee. Ate breakfast.
9:30 a.m.--Opened gifts with mom, dad and Brenna. Turned on The Family Stone (new tradition!)
1:00 p.m.--Grandma Ayotte arrived
1:30--Beth (my cousin) and Justin (her husband) arrived; freezer started to leak. Keith (my dad) was agitated.
1:33--Dad emptied freezer to defrost.
2:15--Grandma and Grandma Palkki arrived. We are thinking "Will we ever eat?!"
2:35--Aunty Lo and Uncle Al arrived and remarked how the box fan fits perfectly in the freezer. Still no food.
Justin realizes he's not in the calendar I made for my mom. He was peeved. (In all fairness, he IS in the photo book I made for Grandma Ayotte!)
2:44--Chairs brought out. Still no food.
Beth and Brenna had a lengthy discussion about terminology: spatula vs. spoonula vs. scraper. We broke out the chocolate covered blueberries Aunty Lo brought.
2:49--Beth noticed my father is wearing my sister's Fubu sweat pants with his shirts tucked in. What can we say... the man's retired.
2:52--Drinks all around (let the day drinking commence!). Still no food.
2:55-- Beth insults Josh's choir CD playing (she says it "must be the snow drift beer.")
2:59--Brenna and Beth explained Pinerest to Justin and Keith
3:01--Justin questions Josh about his blog. (Idea: Ray (Ramsden)'s World!)
3:04--Brenna's covert drinking habit exposed!
3:06--Still no food. Josh's blood sugar had plummeted in a big way.
3:09--Yogi Yorgesson Christmas song sung (Palkki family tradition!). Still no food and none in sight.
3:16--Brenna was concerned about Aunty Gayle (Beth's mother). It's been 54 minutes and she hasn't "liked" Brenna's picture on Facebook.
3:17--Josh began dying of starvation. STILL NO FOOD.
3:19--Grandma Lois was egging on Grandma Bernice to "have another" (they were fighting over the strong rum balls).
3:23--Beth insulted my taste in music. I delivered my signature "teacher death glare." Beth died of that before dying of starvation which was rapidly coming for all of us.
3:26--New beer idea: Christmas in a Can! Also a song by Carole King was sung.
3:29--Silence in the house. Did someone forget to cook??!?!
3:38--Beth and Justin leave.... starving (oh wait, they hadn't planned to eat at 680 W. Division anyway!)
3:43--Food finally came out! YUMMMM!
4:06--"We've eaten. Blood sugar level coming back up. FINALLY."
4:07--Brenna in need of a beer or hard cider.
4:15--Brenna in need of a nap.
4:16--Text from Cousin Wendy Hadley in California.
4:18--Grandma Ayotte had no card money.
4:20--The ice maker was making ice but with NO ICE TRAY in the freezer. Keith looked nervous. Ice was everywhere. Keith in need of an extra beer.
4:21--Card playing commenced.
6:44--Dessert eaten. Many hands of smear played.
7:28--Grandma Ayotte departed. Al and Lois arrived again for more cards.
Always a fun day with the Ayotte and Palkki clans. They're looney tunes, but I love 'em... And I wouldn't be anywhere else for the holidays. Much love to all of you and best wishes for a fabulous 2013!!
:)
Josh
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