It's phenomenal to me how my perspective has changed in a few short years. During my undergraduate years, I was fairly certain I'd move to Chicago, find a nice cushy teaching job in the suburbs, practice reverse commuting, and live happily ever after. This isn't exactly what transpired. In a bold move, I headed west after graduation and found a job in the urban jungle of San José, California. Oh how my perceptions were altered during those four years. I was faced with racial and gang issues unforeseen in my tidy, rural Midwestern upbringing. I loved my kids. They were tough, and rough around the edges, but they were real. They were anything but the cookie-cutter white-bread I envisioned teaching in suburban Chicago. My kids could sing.
Every year since 2002 I have attended a regional or national conference of the American Choral Directors Associaiton (ACDA). I used to attend these conferences and see phenomenal choirs and yearn for the day that I could showcase my own group at such a presigious event. My goal from very early on was to conduct at an ACDA conference as soon as posisble.
But in the last several years my outlook has changed. Yesterday the 2011 Chicago National Convention issue of the Choral Journal came in the mail. As I flip through, I see (with a few notable exceptions) choirs of upper middle class white folks led by nice upper middle class white folks. There are no choirs in this issue that look like my kids. This is all fine and good, of course. I'm sure I'll be moved by many of these choirs and be extremely grateful for their high level of performance. But-- this is not reality. These choirs don't show a cross-section of America. How could they? All the best teachers have the same dream I had as an undergraduate-- to teach nice white kids with nice parents who will pay for nice choir dresses and trips. Why would a talented young music teacher want to take a job in South Chicago or South Central LA or the tenderloin of San Francisco?
I guess what I'm realizing more and more is that the things about American culture that make me cringe are also present in the American "choral world." We live in a "pie in the sky," "ivory tower" world. That's a hard pill to swallow. Especially because I know that some of those things are still present in myself. As I flip through this convention preview, there is a part of me that still wants to see my head shot there. I feel like two diametrically opposite worlds are pulling me in two directions.
Maybe two years in the Peace Corps would give me a fresh, less jaded perspective on my chosen profession.
On another subject...
I'm struggling with the meat-eating issue. The plan with my nutritionist was that I should start eating meat in January to give my stomach six months to get used to meat before heading off to Africa. This is more difficult than I'd envisioned. Being a vegetarian is very much wrapped up in who I have been for the past twelve years, and walking away feels like betraying a very important part of myself.
I try to not think this way. In the grand scheme, it's just food and from an African perspective, vegetarianism is an increidbly luxury. Many Africans would be extremely grateful for the opportunity to have meat at their disposal. This helps.
So, I need to start eating some chicken and turkey... and hope that my stomach doens't revolt.
i think you may not need to give up being a vegetarian on your PC assignment. Much of it will depend on where you go and your food situation, obviously. I travel for work a lot and have traveled with a lot of vegetarians who make it work while overseas. If you are a solid vegetarian, i think you can hold that and not offend people. you've been a vegetarian for a long time - this is you - this is not some sudden decision. people are more informed and globally connected now - they understand that some people are vegetarian - for religious reasons, or whatever. i say don't force yourself into this. if you don't want to eat meat, don't. let's see where you are posted and then you can decide if you really need to go this route. xo
ReplyDeleteHi, i am invited for PC Mexico in March. For 3 years, I did not eat meat but did eat dairy. And I literally just re-started two days ago with a can of tuna (no ill effects except that i really just don't like the taste)... Be careful though about giving up anything before you're actually invited. I was nominated for October but didn't get the invitation & glad that I did not start back on meat too soon. But, i'm no nutrionist.
ReplyDeleteall the best,
Kirk.
I completely feel for you on the issue of eating meat again. I've been a vegetarian for the past 15 years and I have just been invited to serve in Central Asia.
ReplyDeleteI'm not planning on eating meat before I leave (which might be a mistake, and I might get really sick when I go). I just can't bring myself to do it when I'm still here. I do understand that it might be necessary once I go, and I've had to ensure the Peace Corps that I'm at least open to the possibility. I know that this will just be an additional challenge for me on top of all the other challenges Peace Corps volunteers often face.
I wish you the best of luck, whatever your decision. Just know that you're not alone :)
Adrienne